Lost at rock-bottom? Me too.
There’ve been many cases post-grad that felt like I was moving on solid ground, just for it all to crumble beneath me after my fourth-fifth step. And with that? All my confidence.
Every time I hit (what feels like) rock-bottom, I sit with these questions to find my footing again:
Where did this go wrong?
Why do I feel so out of place?
How am I going to move forward?
Where did this go wrong?
This question always helps me take a good look at what my initial intentions were going into a new experience.
Did I get the experience I was looking for? If yes, yay! It’s not all bad, we learned something new.
If no, then I ask, “Can I sustain this? Will it sustain me?”
If the answer is no again, then I consider the following:
Where was my heart, and how did it influence my decision? Was it in a good place? Bad place? Desperate place? Happy place? Selfish place?
Heart posture will tell you what your motivations are. Your spirit will feel strained where your ego is running the show.
Why do I feel so out of place?
This answer normally comes down to my values. When you’re compromising on yours, you’ll feel it everywhere.
You’ll see it in the people that surround you, in your need to pretend, in the mornings you wake up miserable, or when you go to sleep dreading the place you’re going to the next day.
Out of habit, I’d normally think there’s something wrong with me if I didn’t fit in somewhere.
I’m learning it’s more effective to ask why your environment is making you feel at war with yourself. Chances are, there is another place, other people that suit you better — and that’s okay.
How am I going to move forward?
If I’m ever caught in a cycle of unhappy days, I let myself cry for a while, but then I always ask, “How am I going to move forward?”
I say this with love, it is hard to have sympathy for the person that complains yet tries nothing to change. Challenge your own thinking, and keep asking until you have answers:
What do I need to feed my heart so that it feels full again?
How can I adjust my environment so that I’m not compromising on my values?
Once you know these things, move accordingly, and don’t wait.
Conclusion
Sometimes, it takes me months to really understand these.
Sometimes, you’ll have to ride things out while God takes his time adjusting your vision. But talk to him through it all — I guarantee you’ll come out on the other side with the clarity you need.
Matthew 7:7-8
“Ask,” and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
